Fort Celery
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Last week, Bruce and I have passed a rather auspicious milestone. In just over ten years at this food-writing career, we have crafted, developed, and tested over 5000 recipes.
That's nuts.
Such a moment could only occur because of eighteen books and counting (that's way more than one a year--almost two a year in fact), zillions of feature articles (just now doing three features in a row for COOKING LIGHT this very week), four national columns running at different times over the years (and The Every Day Gourmet still up and going strong on weightwatchers.com), and even a couple cookbooks for persnickety celebrity types who insist on confidentiality agreements.
If you do the math, you'll realize that ten years = 3650 days--so we're talking more than one published recipe created every day. Sheesh. And my fat hips' damnation.
Was every recipe a winner? By no means! Sure, there are lots of great ones. Wait until you see the grits and ham casserole up this week on the blog. But oh, do we have some great stories.
We still fight about who came up with the concept of pickled shrimp for The Ultimate Shrimp Book. Imagine this: a big glass jar of shrimp, topped with vinegar, whole spices (think mustard seeds and such), as well as floating bits of soggy dill.
In a word: blech.
And I'll lay claim to the Elvis Spread in The Ultimate Peanut Butter Book. (Bruce will NOT let me forget it.) Get this: peanut butter, honey, bananas, and--yes--fried bacon, all whirred up in a food processor, then used as a dip. (For what???) I got the idea from the sandwich the king liked to make. Hey, I thought it was a good concept.
But I think this behemoth is out all-time funniest recipe ever: Fort Celery. We made this for a (no joke) President's Day spread in a book published by the Cooking Club of America. They wanted a dinner in which kids could be a part. Check out the original headnote:
Lincoln grew up in a log cabin. Andrew Jackson, Benjamin Harrison, and Ulysses S. Grant all defended log forts. So we thought this salad fort would be the perfect tribute for your President’s Day dinner. Why not have one of the kids read the Gettysburg Address?
In what family does some kid stand up at the table and read the Gettysburg Address? The family of the corn?
Anyway, if you really want to know, here's how you, too, can have Fort Celery at your President's Day feast.
Take long bamboo skewers and push them through the ends of celery spears to build a fort, the skewers spearing the corners together. Cut down some of the skewers into small bits. Stick these in the ends of a few shortened celery stalks; also stick these skewers into the top level celery slats, thereby building a roof. Run long skewers between the roof supports to old it in place. Fill the whole thing inside with dressed salad. And then use sliced portobello caps for the up-top shingles. Oh, and little celery leaf spears, stuck on with more skewer chips, as the flags. Oh, and a walk-way up to the thing with sliced, canned water chestnuts.
Last night, as we realized we'd passed such a momentous milestone in our career, we sat around looking at pictures from the past. Believe it or not, we have shots of almost every recipe we've made, whether for books or magazines. Lo and behold, Fort Celery popped up on Bruce's computer.
We laughed until our sides ached. President's Day? Fort Celery? And yet we continue to find work.
So I had to share this jewel of a concept with you on this auspicious holiday. Surely it was one helluva shining moment in a career, no?
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Reader Comments (5)
Congrats to you both on the milestone! And Fort Celery is a work of pure genius... :)
Gee, and to think my mom just made cherry pie for Washington's birthday.
I once made an entire Nativity scene (complete w/barn animals and camels) with pipe cleaners and felt fabric . . . alright, it wasn't edible so it doesn't count in comparison to Fort Celery. But the crafty crafter and hearty eater in me totally appreciate the spirit of this structure!
Congratulations on an amazing milestone and it doesn't sound as if either of you are ready to stop, fat hips be damned! 8-)
Thanks guys. I don't think we're ready to stop. But boy, do I need a long-term gym membership!
Amazingly!I was interesting for something special and found it, thanks.