Fennel and Carrot Slaw

Are your forearms getting a bit flabby? Any of the church-lady wave happening? I've got the cure.

Slaw. You bet. Because the only way to make it is to squeeze those veggies of any excess moisture. In fact, you have to work those forearms to make sure you don't end up with a watery slaw. Nothing's worse. (Well, OK, we can all probably think of a few things worse. Don't tempt me to start a list!)

Besides giving his forearms a Popeye workout, Bruce takes care of that watery blech by basically curing the fennel. It's a two-step process that yields the very best slaw.

So let's get to it:

First, you need to get 4 small fennel bulbs and 1 small yellow onion into thin strips. So trim them up, removing all the fronds and stems from the fennel and the papery skin from the onion. You might also need to slice the bottoms off the fennel bulbs if they're rusty. Now slice them up into paper-thin strips. Bruce uses his hand-held mandoline, a trusty OXO device you can find here. Or you can use a regular ol' mandoline. Or you can use a sturdy vegetable peeler, making thin strips that fall into a bowl. The slicing blade on the food processor is the tool of last resort because it won't necessarily make the strips paper thin--but it's a good runner-up for a quick fix.

Once you've got all those strips in a bowl, toss them with 2 tablespoons salt. I know: it's a lot. But you'll rinse it off later.

Pour the salty mess in a colander and set it in the sink for 1 hour. Thus, my saying something about the "cured" fennel. That salt will leach out lots of water.

Later, rinse the fennel-onion mixture with lots of cool water, tossing it under the water to make sure most of the salt comes off. Then pick it up by handfuls and squeeze like mad. Little bits, lots of squeezing, all to get rid of that excess moisture. Don't be shy. Remember those forearms and that church-lady wave!

Put all the squeezed wads into big bowl. Use a fork to fluff them back into shape. Then grate 4 medium carrots through the large holes of a box grater and onto a cutting board. And you guessed it: squeeze these carrot threads, too--a small handful at a time. I promise this is all worth it. Including the physical activity involved. (Don't you love those red carrots we got from a farm stand this week?)

OK, the squeezed-dry fennel, onion, and carrots are in the serving bowl. Now make the dressing. Whisk all this together: 1/2 cup mayonnaise, 1/4 cup plain Greek yogurt, 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard, 2 tablespoons unseasoned rice vinegar, the juice of 1 lemon, 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce, 1 teaspoon sugar, and 1 teaspoon ground black pepper.

Pour this over the vegetables and you're good to go. Plus, you won't need to go to the gym!

Comments

[Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial]

Cole slaw without cabbage? Fabulous. :)